Ah, To Be Young

Prose, Poetry, and plays, plus whatever else I call my daily muse and whatnot. I'm on tumblr to write and read whats writ - lets talk about it all:
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I read the following in the Utica Police blotter, and decided to fill in the blanks.

08/13/2010 06:44:03PM 317 ACACIA VILLAGE Unattended Death Investigation

In the middle of the stage there is small old man in a wheel chair, head bowed. He is dead. Carrie, the Nurse, calls out from offstage. She is tall and severe, but she knows how to curse. The light is reminiscent of a sunset.)

Carrie: Mr. Rose?! Mr. Rose? Mr. Rose please we have to get back inside before they finish up with dinner. (She walks onstage, but does not immediately see Mr. Rose. To herself.) I swear I’ll make him eat solid food if he doesn’t wheel his geriatric ass over here soon.Mr. RO-OOOOOSE! (She finally sees Mr. Rose). Mr. ROSE! (She walks over and sits down next to him. She taps him lightly on the shoulder – her tone is now gentle and caring). Mr. Rose are you okay? Its dinner time you know? They’re serving bananas foster for desert tonight. Mr. Rose? (Shaking more vigorously). Mr. Rose come on now let’s go, I’ll push you down this hill so help me – Mr. Rose…..? (she listens for breathing and slaps him lightly across the face. She sits back down on the bench, looking a little angry.)


(She sighs.) I’m already on two strikes since Mr. Whittaker kicked the bucket. Fuuuuuu-uuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk. What’re you doing to me old man? It’s a fucking Tuesday night! And you decided to die?  Jesus this is going to be a pain in the ass – if you had just died in your room Mark could have been all over this! I am going to have so much fucking paperwork… (She pulls her phone out and begins texting) I gotta get Jody over here. Fuck. (She texts for a few seconds in silence).






Mr. Rose: (His head eases up, and he looks around confusedly.) Bananas?!?! I’m allergic to bananas!

Carrie: JEEEEEEEESSSSUUUS! Holy…. Jesus! Mr. Rose you’re okay! Holy shit you’re okay! Are you okay? Oh thank god, oh you’re okay.

Mr. Rose: (He turns and notices Nurse. He looks displeased. Whenever he doesn’t talk for a while, he starts to go to sleep again.) I’m napping.

Carrie: It’s dinner time Mr. Rose, if you come now you can go to sleep right after you eat.

Mr. Rose: No, I’m napping. Leave me alone.

Carrie: You can have bananas foster? Maybe two?

Mr. Rose: I want to enjoy the sunset, and I want to nap. I don’t want bananas – I want you to leave me alone. I’m allergic… I think. And stop saying our savior’s name in vain. Its unbecoming.

Carrie: You don’t even go to service on Sundays!

Mr. Rose: Maybe if you let me sleep I would be able to wake up in time!

Carrie: Aw, fuck you. (Jody walks in. She is a large, timid woman, and she is holding a bowl in her hands with a spoon).

Jody: Carrie, that doesn’t seem too nice.

Carrie: Jesus Jody he just faked – (Mr. Rose kicks her in the shin) OWWW you old soggy dick! Go ahead, do it again. I dare ya. See what happens. You won’t remember it by the time they light the rum on fire anyway.

Jody: Hey Carrie?

Carrie: What?

Jody: I…. kinda called the police.

Carrie: Why the – (stepping away from Mr. Rose) – hell did you do that?

Jody: Its protocol Carrie you know that! He’s fine, so… its okay, right? We’ll just tell them what happened.

Carrie: That I left him alone and he sorta died on me?

Mr. Rose: Just let me take my nap!

Carrie: Close your mouth before I put your denture glue on your teeth instead of your gums.

Jody: Maybe you should be nicer to him. He’s (she whispers) old.

Carrie: Well of course he’s old! You think I can say this stuff to Mrs. Weathers? Hell no that old nun would have my knuckles in a heartbeat.

Jody: But, its not nice. You need to treat them with some respect. They’ve been through a lot you know! (Turning to Mr. Rose, her voice saccharine) Would you like some bananas foster dear?

Mr. Rose: No. I want you to leave bitch. I’m allergic.

            Carrie: You think.

Jody: Oh nonsense, its good! See. (she takes a bite) Goooooood. (She puts the bowl in his lap and tries to spoon the food into his mouth. Mr. Rose resists.)

Carrie: For christsake — (she glances at Mr. Rose nervously, but he is staring into the bowl on his lap) — leave him alone. Anyway we’re not telling the fucking police that I left him to just cruise off and die. You think it will look good if I call in the mortician now?

Jody: But he’s fine!

Carrie: But I won’t be. Now come on. (She gets off the bench and begins walking offstage.) We’ll just head up to dinner and tell them it was a false alarm. Hell, you called them, not me!

Jody: Carrie that’s not fair! (She gets up and begins to follow her out. The following is as they leave)

Carrie: Well its not my fault, I just texted you he was dead!

Jody: Carrie!

Carrie: By the way how is that bananas foster? Mr. Rose! Lets go!

The lighting is a bright, fiery orange. By now, Mr. Rose has fallen asleep again, but at the mention of his name, he wakes up. He notices the bowl of bananas on his lap. He picks it up and takes a bite. He enjoys it. He then coughs furiously clutching his throat. He stops, as if he is gagging, then clears his throat and has another bite. Mr. Rose then begins to roll himself offstage. Halfway across he begins to cough again, clutching his throat, but his momentum carries him offstage.

Curtain Down.

  1. nickgeisler posted this